What you really mean…


You didn't wake up this morning loving me. You didn't decide you were wrong, and that you were going to change it is going to be good, really good. No. You woke up needing the same validation you need everyday, the dependence on another individuals presence to let you know that you're alive. You regret the things you said not because you didn't mean them, you did. You regret them because now I'm gone and I won't be back. Because I was feeding you, and now you're hungry. You aren't going to change overnight, and surely you aren't going to change for me. We were, if nothing more, convenient to each other. That, my boy, cannot be denied. Your wanting me really, truly has nothing to do with me. With my quick dark wit and my jealous musings, the dimples in the small of my back or the freckles covering my body. No no, nothing to do with me.

So don't tell me that you miss me, that you want me, that you love me.

What you really mean is,

Just what I was giving you.


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