What I am afraid of

I am not afraid of dying, or heights, or public speaking. I am not afraid of the forest, or traveling foreign countries alone. I am not afraid of guns, or criminals, or car accidents. I am not afraid of being alone, I am afraid of being lonely. 

I am loud and intense and can be stubborn, argumentitive, hurtful, absent minded and overwhelming. I scare people. They retreat from me like a nuclear melt down, and the more you try to force something, the uglier it gets. 

I am all these things but ten times more. I am fascinating and intelligent and beautiful and compassionate and I will not lie down in the face of opposition. 

I am a force to be reckoned with, but I am so afraid that regardless of that, I will end up alone.