Grey Area

A battle I have been fighting (and losing for that matter) is with the oft taboo and dreaded 'grey area'. Are we dating? Does he like me? Should I post that picture of us? Why did his ex like that photo? Why hasn't he texted me back?

Fucking. Shit.

I think we can ALL agree that the grey area SUCKS. I was just sent an article by a friend of mine that made me say 'Oh snap'. It is a fabulous little piece written by Mark Mason called 'Fuck Yes or No'. Is this guy/girl you just met a fuck yes? Are you excited? Butterflies, cheesy smile, photo booth makeout sessions? Fuck yes. You don't jump to answer their calls, watching netflix re-runs with your roommate sounds better than going out with them, their clothes bug you? No.

Sounds easy, right?

Well this is where I struggle. I am controlling and stubborn and will use both my beauty and my intelligence to get what I want.. and mind you, I always get what I want. But I suck at keeping it. See, I have this magic trick where I can take any man and make him a monster, make him hate me and disrespect me and say the most cruel and vile things he swore he'd never say. I haven't quite worked out WHY I do this, but HOW I do it is by pushing. I push and I pick and I nag and I claw... because I will NOT be ignored.

I meet this Fuck Yes and I am thinking to myself... Fuck Yes. And hopefully they're thinking to themselves Fuck Yes. But what if they aren't? Or they change their mind? Or you change your mind?

'Moving on' is a slimy, taciturn and painfully elusive bitch. You're hurt and mad and feeling rejected and fuck them for doing this to you, right? You don't deserve this...

But life is a process. Becoming a person, YOUR person, is a process. Letting everything and everyone make you better.

I am working on this. It is hard for me. I feel utterly unloveable floundering around in the grey area, and it is so damn awkward omg.

Check out this article and maybe you're with your Fuck Yes, but maybe you're not.

http://markmanson.net/fuck-yes

xoxo

E

#love #relationship #greyarea #heartbreak #boyfriend #girlfriend #sex #dating #date #markmason #fuckyes #no #better #people #girl #boy #life

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